Jay and I are terrible at making decisions.
Perhaps I should correct that - I am terrible at making decisions and I pull Jay into my indecision.
We have had to make so many big decisions in less than 5 years of marriage, you would think I would be used to it by now, but I'm not.
The decision to adopt was an easy one for us. However, all of the other decisions were born from that single decision seemed crippling at times. Which agency will we use? Domestic or International? If international, which country? How open are we to special needs? Age ranges? Race?
And in the adoption process you have to have clear answers for all of these and more.
Jay and I decided to read the book Adopted for Life as part of the decision making/infertility grieving process.(I would highly recommend it anyone to read, especially if you are feeling apathetic about adoption) One thing the author mentioned in his chapter written specifically to couples who are infertile was to pray for clarity of vision moving forward in the adoption process.
So pray we did and we held off moving forward in making any of those decisions until we really felt clear about what direction was right for us.
Over the next several months I felt like we were given the answers.
On the questions of race, we knew from the beginning that didn't matter to us. We know there are and will be many obstacles to overcome by adopting a child of a different race, but God doesn't discriminate about which races He allows into His Family, we aren't going to either.
On the question of special needs or medical conditions, we will consider almost all. That was a hard answer to come to because we know that if we were pregnant, we wouldn't be able to discriminate.
One the question of age ranges, we have asked for 1 year or younger. We discussed older child foster/adoption, but this answer came as a tourniquet for my still-grieving heart. I would love to know my child since the day they are born or as close to it as God allows. Since that may never happen with biological children, I am praying that this happens in adoption.
Finally the big question of domestic or international. Both Jay and I felt like we are called to fill the gaps, to adopt children who might not otherwise be part of a forever family. Logically, that led us to attend an orientation on International Adoption. As we listened to the information presented, we were struck by how many countries in the world were closed to adoption simply because there were too many families waiting to adopt and not enough children to be adopted. Realistically I know that is a bureaucratic issue more than anything else, but when we talked to an adoption specialist after that orientation she mentioned a drastic lack of families in the US who were willing to adopt a child of any race.
And that did it.
We walked out of the office that night knowing we were going to adopt domestically.
We decided on Bethany Christian Services as our agency and within a week of turning in our paperwork packet, we received a call telling us that they were expediting our paperwork because of our open preferences.
We should be a waiting family by the first week in November and only God knows what will happen after that.
We would appreciate any and all prayers and encouragement moving forward with this process, and we are so grateful for everyone who has come along side us in the process, those who have grieved with us, and those who have celebrated with us.
